The Brave New World of Online Dating

I have thrown myself deep into uncharted waters (for me...): I have joined the large number of people indulging in Online Dating...

The reason for doing it is that I, like many other people around and over my age, am finding it increasingly difficult to meet new men through mutual acquaintances. Friends don't have so much time for each other now so when we go out is to have a good, long, one-on-one chat, no strangers allowed.

So this opens up a whole range of things... you can glance over someone's profile and, in a heartbeat, decide whether to even chat with them or not. Those little (or big) foibles become the judging meters of these encounters: he smokes, he's bald, he's got a child etc etc... And they become reasons for staying away from somebody's advances, or for accepting them.

And boy are there lots of advances! In less than a month, my profile has been viewed over 1,700 times, over 100 men have expressed crushes on me, I have chatted into the wee hours... It's become a question of skimming rather than getting to meet someone.

I will write another post with the types of men that do online dating, the weird things they approach you with, and also how to detect them...

For now I will talk about the outcome of some of the dates (real dates) I've had with people met online.

Online Date No. 1 = he was very funny online, met some of my major criteria. We chatted, we ended up having chat sex (my first time :P ). Then one night we decided to meet on the spur of the moment: he ditched his friends, I ditched mine. We went for dinner, had a very pleasant time. Neither of us was the other's type though, but I think that we both would have had sex with the other, there just seemed to be some barrier between us. Could it be his self-professed love of completely shaven snatches? Which is something I would not do even for the love of my life (the pain! oh the pain!!!)?? After that dinner - which he paid for by the way (but that's a whole other post!!) - we've been chatting occasionally, playing with sexual banter, but nothing more. I think as a first time experience it went quite well, unlike the next two...

Online Date No. 2 = he didn't have a photo, but we chatted quickly, he seemed nice, asked if he could call me. We spoke on the phone and I liked his voice, he didn't seem to be a crazy man, so we decided to meet for a drink that evening - we both agreed that online dating is just a springboard for meeting up so there's no point in having lengthy chats... So we meet, and oh boy have I learned to see a photo first!!! He really was NOT my type at all, and I don't mean just physically, but in general. I knew this from the first few minutes but being who I am, I decided to play along nicely. We chatted, had a drink - he even asked me if I liked children!! - he made some horribly homophobic comments... Anywhoo, I walked him to his train and he said he'd like to see me again. I tried to be as tactful as possible and told him I saw him just as a friend. Nevertheless after this he bombarded me with calls and SMS asking me to go out. I then had to be a bit rough with him to get him to stop calling me.

Online Date No. 3 = not so much a date as a "see you in the street when I'm passing through" kinda thing, to see if we liked each other. I was out there faster than you could say: "login name". Ugh, horrible horrible man. I have now blocked him...

Online Date No. 4 = this is the most peculiar one. He contacted me, he met all my criteria - not easy I might add - we chatted nicely, he invited me out for dinner. We decided the place, then he said let's do it asap. We exchanged numbers and then... NOTHING! I was baffled by this, as I am by it when it happens in real life: being pursued by a man who then suddenly shows no interest whatsoever in you. I always thought is was a tactic... We'll see. Anyway after about two weeks he messages me again apologising that he hadn't been in touch he'd been really busy...
Then comes the fun bit. He says he's only interested in relationships of unbridled sex, and that he didn't think I was the type so that was it. On one hand that caught me off guard, on the other I've learnt to play along a bit. So I responded saying: how did he know I wasn't the type? And off we went chatting into detail about what we'd do, what we like etc... So we agreed to meet. I thought: why not? I'm after sex and fun, he seems like an interesting guy...
So we met a few days ago. We went for a non committal pre-dinner drink - this always works so that if you don't like each other you can go your separate ways quite quickly and if you do then you've got the whole evening to do whatever you want.
Anyway, I had the feeling we liked each other. He suggested we go and see his flat nearby which is being renovated, that he'd told me about. We did and we looked. It's still a building site but nice. He has a lovely terrace that overlooks Rome. As the sun went down we started kissing, then we went back inside and, over a roll of clean flooring protective matting, we had GREAT sex. And when I say great, I really, really mean it. And of course as usual it was safe sex.
We then continued our evening , went for a meal, then went to see my brother who was celebrating his birthday with a few friends. All very nice. And we're probably going to see each other again in the next few days, if not today...

I know he's not "boyfriend" material simply because I don't get that vibe off him, but I'm having fun with him and this is what I really need right now so, well done Online Dating!! Hurrah!

The great thing is that I continue to chat with other interesting men who I hope to meet after they return from their August holidays. Some I find VERY appealing so it'll be fun to see what happens there.

I'll keep you posted on my adventures! :P

xxx