The gap (not the clothing store!)

There is this gap, unbridgeable, un-fillable, unreachable, uncrossable. It's between men and women. It's between what women desire and what exists. It's between nature and evolution.

I've challenged the gap plenty, fought it, skirmished with it, taunted it, ignored it, even pretended it really wasn't there. But no matter what I do it's still there, I can't kill it. So I've decide to parlay. Please give me a truce. Please teach me how to live with it, how to deal with it, how to be satisfied with what I get. Cause right now I really can't do that, and I feel maimed, disabled, incapacitated. I'm jus tired of swimming against the tide.

You might ask what's prompted all this. Well, I don't want to go into too much detail. But the reason is that I'm tired of meeting men, of them drawing me in, enticing me, tantalising me with views of what life could be like with them, of telling me they miss me and that they want to see me, only for them to do a Jekyll & Hyde on me and disappear, or evade, when I'm back in town. L. has vanished from my spectrum. He's texting me, as if I'm some random friend out and about that he may run into at some point. But he's being evasive, slithery, like an eel caught in a pond. I'm not out to "catch" anyone. All I wanted was some time with someone I found to be funny, nice, engaging. I wasn't asking for any promises, or commitments, nothing. Just his time , on occasion. And after two months of long distance crap fuelled mostly by him, I return and whoosh, he's gone. Now you see him, now you don't.

I've struggled, I've called him to just try and see him and have some closure. I can't even do that. And for now I've decided not to contact him. I might relent. I'm a Virgo, I need closure, I need to say things face to face.

Men of the world: please have the balls to tell us stuff, anything, whatever it is. But more importantly, have the fucking balls to tell yourselves stuff, acknowledge whatever it is that you do or feel, so that communication with others of the species might go a little easier.

That is all.

Always Sassy.